When to — and when not to — tell a romantic interest you have Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder

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Photo by Samantha Gades on Unsplash

Every relationship has its questions of timing: How many dates do you go on before sex? When should you allow your date to pick up the check? How early is too early to tell him you have ADHD?

Well, maybe that’s not a question for every new relationship. But it is for mine. And the answer is usually “after I’ve screwed up.”

Don’t get me wrong — I love having Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. Just like being smart or having a sense of humor, ADHD is a positive character trait makes me who I am. But I haven’t always dated the most ADHD-savvy men. …


Want to be a better writer? Then check out this list of novel and short story craft titles published over the last year.

1. 25 Great Sentences and How They Got That Way by Geraldine Woods

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Read this August release from creative writing instructor Geraldine Woods and you’ll never write sentences the same way again. “We all know the basic structure of a sentence,” she notes, “a subject/verb pair expressing a complete thought and ending with proper punctuation. …


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How do you measure joy? Can we calculate the pleasure of learning to read? Is it possible to quantify the satisfaction of reading an amazingly good book?

For the third year in a row, the Trump administration is trying to remove all federal funding from public libraries. The idea, for many readers, is categorically absurd. But readers or not, we live in a world where economic realities demand facts and figures. …


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If every culture has a story to tell, why are we only reading Europeans?

When it comes to literary translation, American publishers have a pipeline problem. Not a pipeline problem in the way that tech companies use the phrase, blaming low diverse hiring numbers on their purported lack of female and minority applicants. Publishing’s problem is not one of supply — rather flaws in the acquisitions system that make it nearly impossible for non-Western authors and US publishers to connect.

In 2018, for the second year in a row, American publishers released fewer titles in translation, publishing 609 books, compared to 666 in 2016. By and large, these books were also translated from the exact same languages they always have been, with 41.87 percent originally written in Spanish, German, or French. In comparison, only one book was translated from Bosnian. …


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Strategies for coping at work when your manager has ADHD

It’s not your fault. Maybe you missed that project deadline because your boss never said when it was. Or maybe she kept interrupting you with so many Slacks and emails you couldn’t finish your work. When your supervisor has Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and you don’t, her communication style can sometimes keep you from doing the job.

You’re not alone. Elaine Taylor-Klaus is cofounder of coaching company ImpactADHD and also has Attention Deficit. She says that while people with ADHD are “creative and idea focused,” they also tend to “resist structure or rely heavily on others creating structure.” That means your boss is unlikely to provide precise project guidelines. You have to develop your own. For employees who need more direction, this can be frustrating but Taylor-Klaus says, “If you love your job, don’t quit; instead, put some effort into designing with your boss and asking for what you need to be successful.” …


Marijuana allergies are real, and for people who have one, decriminalization has been hell

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I’m allergic to pot. One secondhand whiff of somebody else’s joint and my nose clogs up. I get a headache and I start to itch. And if I’m around enough of it — say at a concert or something — I’m sick the whole weekend, coughing and weak in bed.

I’m lucky. Immunologist Dr Purvi Parikh says cold-like symptoms are on the milder end of marijuana allergy reactions. “Some people get full blown asthma attacks, rashes, and even anaphylaxis.” …


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There’s a war waging in the way we raise our children and the battle goes deep into the heart of what we want them to be. Ladies and gentleman, “ma’am” is under assault.

As a Southerner, I say “yes, ma’am” and “no, ma’am” with abandon. These simple expressions are daggers in the fight for politeness and, as an adult, I’m thankful my parents equipped me with them. You see, I live in New York City and, in the town that seems to have everything, the one thing Manhattan could use more of is courtesy. …


Why must we zombify, emoji-itize, or otherwise “modernize” Jane?

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It is a truth universally acknowledged that anything written about Jane Austen must start with that singular phrase. It is as though anyone who ever writes about her secretly wants to be her, as though every writer knows deep, deep down that we will never craft an opening as good as Jane’s.

We are inadequate beside her.

Perhaps this is why writers produce so many “modern” adaptations of Jane Austen’s work. You’ve most likely heard about the zombies. Don’t get me started on the zombies. The reading world turned a blind eye to Pride and Prejudice and Zombies — laughed even — and were we thus rewarded with both Emma and the Werewolves and Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters. …


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George Takei speaks at Book Expo 2019. Photo by Terena Bell.

George Takei is wearing pastel pink socks. It’s a remarkably happy outfit for an interview about a horrible topic: the childhood he spent in World War II Japanese-American interment camps. It was in these camps that Takei played games with his brother Henry, got picked on by older children, and realized he wanted to be an actor when he grew up — the US government showing films to those they imprisoned, five year-old George watching beside his father. …


Attention Deficit doesn’t always mean less focus — sometimes it means more

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Mary was in the zone. She’d been online all day and didn’t realize her house had caught on fire until the fireman said she needed to get off the computer and leave.

Mary, of course, is an urban legend — an example of how people with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder can hyperfocus on a task for hours, losing all awareness of their surroundings. She’s a story the ADHD community tells itself so people with the disorder will feel less alone.

“We all hate the name ADHD,” says Elaine Taylor-Klaus, cofounder of Atlanta consultancy group ImpactADHD. Because of the word “deficit,” people often incorrectly assume that having Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder means you can’t pay attention. Instead, ADHDers often pay more attention than we should: It’s called hyperfocus. …

About

Terena Bell

2X entrepreneur; reporter & fiction writer; Kentuckian in NYC; advocate for straight-talk & continued improvement

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